just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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