did you get engaged???
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
