There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
