Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
