i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
