Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
