I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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