i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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