Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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