she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
