So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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