is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
farters have to be the big spoon...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
