update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
