Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
