ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
