Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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