it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
