So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
