So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
