It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
