Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
