You can't motorboat a personality
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
