jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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