i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
