I've blown a few things in my day
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
