My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
