So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Couch. On fire.
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