even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
