Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
