Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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