Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
