Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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