these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
