JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
