i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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