Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
