O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
