I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
