Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Cover your peen. We're going out.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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