I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
