just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
