So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
