Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
