i love accidental penises.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
