I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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