yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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