I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
