I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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