Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
