I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
